Of all the love stories

2010-06-23T01:54:00.003-04:00

“Women of God can never be like women of the world.

The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender
There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind.
There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined.

We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need women of FAITH.
We have enough greed; we need more goodness.
We have enough vanity; we need more virtue.
We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”

-Margaret D. Nadauld

can we pretend that airplanes are shooting stars?

2010-05-28T00:13:00.002-04:00

LOVE love LOVE L.O.V.E. lOvE life

a new goal for my list.... not only go to the temple once a week, but i need to broaden my horizons. there's SOOOOO many beautiful temples all over utah. so it's now my goal to visit a 'new' temple once a month. May was the Rexburg, ID temple. It looks like June is going to be the St George, UT temple. Ooh so excited. :) i think i'm going to have to start a whole new journal about this.

guess who's birthday is in a month?? ooh MINE. WOW. am i really going to be 23? I can not believe it. Where has the time gone? This year for my birthday I've decided to drive home and spend it with family and F.R.I.E.N.D.S. So get ready friends, because I'm going to find the most legit fire work show around and yes, going there!! San Francisco? Lake Tahoe? Santa Cruz? Oooh the endless possibilites. Time for a REAL vacation.

Eternal Families

2010-04-22T18:21:00.000-04:00

WOW. My family is absolutely a.m.a.z.i.n.g!

So I was texting my mom about some random thoughts. I was talking about how I was up in Heaven and watching her and couldn't wait to come to this earth.

Mom's reply: "Yah you took one look at me and said, I want her. She's a sucker!"

Me: "I bet Danielle, Kaitlyn and I totally threw a party when you and dad finally met."

Kait's reply: "We were totally watching mom at her prom and singing 'she got it from her momma!'' :)

Families are Forever. true story. THE END.

when i look good, i feel good

2010-03-25T11:32:00.000-04:00

So I was on my way to the gym....

Usually I walk, but today I decided to drive because I'll be honest, I was lacking a little motivation. Well somehow I ended up at Nordstrom and not the gym.

Just a little detor. I feel like I've been working my butt off and deserve some new work out clothes. And maybe I'm just trying to catch a little someone's attention. Ha. As I'm driving home I decide to make a deal with myself... If I don't go to the gym and run 3 miles right now, I have to take it all back tomorrow! (I wasn't wearing my new gym clothes just yet! :) So I get to the gym, and bust out 4 miles. Dang I feel good! Someone has to reward me. :) Today I'm training at 7 with my trainer and wearing a hot new outfit! Yeyy me.

Nordstrom + Golds Gym = a happy lil lady!

Life really is...

2010-03-17T23:38:00.000-04:00

Like a box of chocolates. SERIOUSLY. you really never know what you're going to get. sometimes you think you're about to bite into your favorite chocolate but you misread the little picture thingy and bite into the most horrible tasting thing ever.... all because of one little wrong turn. Then sometimes i 'KNOW' that this is my favorite chocolate because I've tasted it before BUT NO... it only looks like something that is going to make you so happy and fulfill that little something. instead it leaves you sad and disgusted. other times you have an innocent bystander that says 'you need to try this one! it's the best.' but you chose not to listen. or they say 'no trust me it's horrible' and you taste it anyways wanting to prove them wrong. well my life is like a box of chocolates! and i've had my fair share of taste testing. some will make me happy and others will leave me saying really? hahaha, yes really. sometimes risks are worth it and sometimes they aren't. but what it really comes down to is what's on the inside. i just want to crack these boys (or people in general) open and figure out if they're really genuine and what i want without taking the risk. without having to do a little scratching on the bottom of the chocolate (aka digging into their past) which no one really likes. that's why you secretly do it... then you either like what you see and partake of this wonderful chocolate or put it back in the box. but even then looks are deceiving. sometimes it looks like caramel but it's really butterscotch. so then you try to cut to the chase and point blank cut the chocolate in half to see what's inside. you say right off that bat, okay what are you made of? but then they feel like you've just stepped into their little space bubble. 'you can't be that blunt!' well why the heck not. hahahaha. I'm totally running circles around myself right now and yes, i'm serious. life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get. :)

2010-01-25T00:33:00.000-04:00

TRUE STORY!

um, hi hello. my name is ally and i have a BUTT.

jessica biel, i am kinda obsessed with you.

Happy Sabbath! :)

2010-01-04T01:07:00.000-04:00

It amazes me how we have so much control over our happiness and yet some people are still unhappy. My glass is ALWAYS half full, (if not completely full) and I will always strive to find the goodness out any bad situation. I am so thankful that I have been blessed with this amazing ability. I see so many people out there unhappy. I would give anything to make them feel happy! I'm not saying I'm never unhappy or sad, but I like to snap out of it as fast as I can. This week I was driving and stressing about the usual, "what am I doing with my life?," and in the middle of this thought I couldn't help but start to giggle. Heavenly Father knows all. It's all in His timing. With this I thought, "He must be sitting up there looking down and laughing at me! Like 'really Ally? You're worrying about this again?'". Needless to say I quickly turned on a good song to brighten my mood and I was instantly better. :) Gotta find the humor in everything!! I was reading my scriptures today and stumbled upon a passage that I had highlighted a few months back. It was right after a rough situation and it was a complete answer to my prayers. I knew instantly the love that my Heavenly Father has for me. The scripture is D&C 25: 2-4, 15.

2: A revelation I give unto you concerning my will; and if thou art faithful and walk in the paths of virtue before me, I will preserve thy life, and thou shalt receive an inheritance in Zion.
3: Behold, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou art an elect lady, whom I have called.
4: Murmur not because of the things which thou hast not seen, for they are withheld from thee and from the world, which is wisdom in me in a time to come.
15: Keep my commandments continually, and a crown of righteousness thou shalt receive. And except thou do this, where I am you cannot come.

Ah, my heart was literally pounding out of my chest when I was reading this. My Heavenly Father knows me personally. He knows the true desires of my heart. And I know that I am a daughter of God.

Welcome to 2010

2010-01-03T01:45:00.000-04:00

What a year 2009 was. And oooh how thankful I am that it's gone and past! PEACE OUT!!! Okay, a couple good things came from 2009... it did end with some great karma: i moved into an amazing new condo with a wonderful ward and bishop. i lost 26 pounds! and i paid off my car!!!! I'll be the first to admit that I might over exaggerate just a little. But NO EXAGGERATION HERE! holy roughest year of my life!! Thus, I'm moving forward (FAST) and never looking back. Taking that good karma I ended with and jumping in with both feet to 2010.

I have some pretty high hopes and goals this year. I can't tell you the last time I've made a New Years resolution, but this year I have my checklist READY!!!
1. mission or church history tour: Okay, I realize that one is 6 days and the other is a year and a half but one of these two things WILL HAPPEN this year. The mission has been back and forth for the past year and a half. For those of you wondering, yes I still want to go! I've been asked a couple times recently, "Hey I thought you were going on a mission..." And when they ask it's kinda like they just drop kicked my heart. Right when I was about to start my papers, my stake president said "You know, I think we need to reevaluate this in the Spring. Lets give it more thought." My heart SHATTERED! I have been thinking about a mission since I was 19 years old. It's not something I just woke up and said, Hmmm, I think I want to serve a mission! But, I have put my faith and trust in my Heavenly Father and I'm learning that things don't happen on my time. It's all about the Lords timing. I know I have some close friends and family who are hoping and praying I'll find the man of my dreams, which is why I needed to wait a little bit longer.... We shall see... I'm definitely not holding my breath on that thought! Haha. ;) So if I don't serve a mission I'm going to tour the Church history sights back east for 6 days. All by MYSELF!! I have wanted to do this for the LONGEST time and it will be an absolutely amazing experience. I just know it!!
2. MONEY- finished off the year with my car PAID OFF! So this year, it's time to get down and dirty with those dang plastic cards that make me feel like I still have money in my bank account. Ha, boy was I wrong. Yes these bad boys are going to be destroyed FOREVER. Nordstrom card paid off by March. Student Visa paid off by May! DONE AND DONE!! Mom, stop asking me about it okay?!? :)
3. FITNESS- yes, I lost 26 pounds. it's true. It was a big time fad-diet though. There are only a couple women I know that have kept the weight off with diet and exercise. Mine as well add me to that list right now! :) Who would've thought that me, Allyson Leigh Barney, could run 5 miles? Just because I wanted to. I would've never thought that I would actually enjoy running. When I was on the diet, the doctor prescribed me some fancy little drug that gave me all the energy in the WORLD. That's when I learned to run. Learned to enjoy it. Learned how refreshing it is after you push yourself to the limit! Aaahh. Since I've been off the diet and medicine I have still been running and love love love it. I love becoming a regular at the gym. I love seeing the same people every day and becoming friends with them! My little weakness with this whole thing is food. Taco Bell 89 cent chicken burrito is going to be the death of me!! I feel like I'm always so pressed for time when I'm hungry. I NEED to be patient and cook my meals! Maybe even plan ahead! Hmmm :) So with this little fitness goal of mine I've added to the check list hiking Mt. Timpanogoes and running my first 10k. HOLLER!!!
4. TRAVEL- Last year I went home probably 8 out of 12 months. Yes flying everytime!! I spent WAYYYY too much money on plane flights home. Sorry family, I need to venture out and see the world. First stop Kirtland, Ohio where I will begin the church history tour. Second stop Hawaii where I will be staying with a wonderful friend who lives there with her husband! I've never been anywhere past Utah, so this will be quite the adventure! And yes mom, this won't be happening until I pay off my two credit cards! :)

Favorite new quote:
When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen.
There will be something solid for us to stand on...
or we will be taught to fly.

Well folks, 2010 is my year for expanding my horizons. Watch out! :)

it's been a while....

2009-09-28T20:46:00.001-04:00

WOW... I can't believe it's been THIS LONG since I've written something. Well that's probably because I'm too busy with some of the best girls ever! Seriously, they've saved me from being completely unsocial. My life used to consist of work, church, the gym and babysitting. Now I actually go out with girls my age! It's very rare to find meet girls who are normal, single, and like to have good clean fun! Lol. But let me just say, we've had A BLAST...

First stop was LAKE POWELL!! Three houseboats FULL of crazy fun!

Next was Dierks Bentley, Brad Paisley, and Jimmy Wayne :) WE LOVE COWBOYS!!

(yes, it started pouring rain!)

randomness....

2009-07-08T23:56:00.000-04:00

Yoga is probably my favorite thing in the whole world. Well besides my scooter, country music, vanilla ice cream cones, the beach, sunsets.... okay maybe i just love a lot of things. but seriously. yoga is AMAZINGNESS. it makes everything a million times better!

i LOVE me some cowgirl boots! i don't know how I ended up so country. But i love it!

this is my adorable scooter. except mine is silver. i LOVE that it's finally warm enough so i can ride it EVERYWHERE! favorite thing: late night scooter ride + provo temple = amazingnes....

just laying on the warm cement. feeling completely at peace. maybe listening to a little country music. looking at the stars. aaah. it's PURE B.L.I.S.S.!

I hate when you order a soda and they fill it WAY too full so when you poke your straw in, it spills soda all over you. SUCKS! hate it. lol

I want to find myself some good southern lovin. I want a cowboy. I want to live out in the middle of no where. I want all of my favorite country songs to become my LIFE! aaah :) this is literally, my dream home!!

2009-06-30T01:10:00.000-04:00

she pulled you in
and she bit your lip
and she made you HERS
♥♥♥

wow...

2009-06-28T22:34:00.000-04:00

life is full of endless possibilities! right now i just can't help but feel good and smile. and the funny thing is that it's not because of something in particular. i just feel confident in whatever is to come!

okay, maybe there are a few things that i'm extremely excited about. i'm flying home this week! i can't wait to spend time with my family and my BEST FRIEND TRACY FRENCH aka FRENCHIE! ugh, i've missed this girl. on top of that, i have my birthday this saturday! :) WAHOOOOOO!!! i can not wait for this week. it's going to be a BLAST! and i can not believe i'm almost 22 years old. weird!!!! haha.

love life

2009-06-21T02:02:00.000-04:00

i love it how i've spent so much time and effort to become prepared. I'm talking mentally, spiritually, emotional prepared for something that I thought was going to happen. Well it didn't happen or hasn't yet but because i was mentally, spiritually, and emotionally prepared i was able to conquer some different events this past week.... In all honesty I KNOW it was because I put so much time and effort in. Yes I might have had a different intention, but an amazing outcome still happened. I just love life!
Something else that I've figured out this weekend, I'M WAYYYYY TOOO INDEPENDENT! Phew... My older sister Danielle is visiting me and we've had a great weekend but i'm ready for some ME time. Ha. Also, sharing a twin bed is NO FUN! Ha.

ramblings.

2009-06-16T23:48:00.000-04:00

Wherever you go, whatever you do, whatever you decide
do it with your whole heart!

i just want to dance with YOU!

2009-06-11T21:31:00.000-04:00

I dont want to be the kind to hesitate, Be too shy, wait too late I dont care what they say other lovers do, I just want to dance with you. I gotta feeling that you have a heart like mine, So let it show, let it shine. If we have a chance to make one heart of two, I just want to dance with you. I want to dance with you, twirl you all around the floor Thats what they intended dancin for, I just want to dance with you. I want to dance with you, hold you in my arms once more, Thats what they invented dancin for, I just want to dance with you. I caught you lookin at me when I looked at you, Yes I did, aint that true? You wont get embarrassed by the things I do, I just want to dance with you. Oh the boys are playin softly and the girls are too, So am I and so are you. If this was a movie, wed be right on cue, I just want to dance with you. I want to dance with you, twirl you all around the floor Thats what they intended dancin for, I just want to dance with you. I want to dance with you, hold you in my arms once more, Thats what they invented dancin for, I just want to dance with you.

2009-06-09T01:08:00.000-04:00

I swear I couldn't sleep last night because the moon was so bright. I LOVED IT. I had forgotten how bright a full moon is. It literally lights up the sky. I guess I'll add this to my list of the 'little things' in life that make me smile. The list is growing DAILY!
It's amazing how much your attitude changes when you decide to find the good in things. It is our choice to be happy or sad. It is free will to let things bother us and hang on to them or to let it GO! I could've been upset that I couldn't sleep because the moon was too bright. But instead I marveled at the beauty and did some late night thinking. :)

pure bliss

2009-06-08T00:52:00.000-04:00

I am thinking it's a sign
That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images
And when we kiss they're perfectly aligned
I have to speculate
That God himself did make
Us into corresponding shapes
Like puzzle pieces from the clay

They will see us waving from such great heights,
"Come down now", they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
"Come down now", but we'll stay...

happiness is....

2009-06-04T00:48:00.000-04:00

a good nights sleep

riding a farris wheel

snuggling

knowing that you're loved

feeling appreciated

a new pair of shoes :)

looking at old photos

daydreaming

making shapes out of clouds

watching the sunset

holding hands

listening to the sound of thunder

being curled up in blankets but the window cracked open during the a rain storm

a simple text from your best friend

knowing that i have an eternal family

having some of the greatest friends i could ask for

on a blanket watching fireworks

good music

INDEPENDENCE

juicy strawberries

the smell of BBQ

the most perfect email

hour long phone calls

a smile from a stranger

an elderly couple holding hands

stopping to smell the roses

the smell of rain

a simple "i love you!"

kisses

2009-05-31T03:20:00.000-04:00

That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time.
-NEVER BEEN KISSED-

The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing.
(lets go for three :)

i love kisses
chocolate kisses
butterfly kisses
french kiss
eskimo kisses
air kisses
cheek kisses
hand kisses
hugs and kisses

You burn 26 calories in a one minute kiss.

The physiology of kissing

Kissing is a complex behavior that requires significant muscular coordination; a total of thirty-four facial muscles and 112 postural muscles are used during a kiss. The most important muscle involved is the orbicularis oris muscle, which is used to pucker the lips and informally known as the kissing muscle.In the case of the French kiss, the tongue is also an important part. Lips have many nerve endings so they are sensitive to touch and bite.

Longest kiss - 29 hours by contestants in the "Breath Savers Longest Kiss Challenge" in New York on March 24, 1998.

In some places kissing is a crime - it's illegal in Indiana for a mustached man to "habitually kiss human beings", in Hartford, Connecticut it's illegal for a husband to kiss his wife on Sunday, and in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, it's a crime to kiss a stranger.

originality

2009-05-26T00:14:00.000-04:00

Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold... -Bob Marley

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. -e.e. cummings

Wherever you go, go with all your heart. -Confucius

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. -e.e. cummings, 1955

Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living? -Bob Marley

I absolutely thrive on being happy. If i'm not happy, there's no point in doing it. One thing that i'm glad to say is, when i'm not happy i'll leave. If it's not going to make me happy, i won't go there. Most people won't. Some people jeopardize their happiness just for a little satisfaction of who knows what. There's so many people that completely morph into someone or something else just to fit in or be with a certain person. One day they're going to wake up and hate who they've become. They'll want to go back to themselves with or without the certain someone. I look at some people and wonder if they're truly happy... I know that I am. I am genuinely happy and love the life i'm creating. Life is a beautiful thing.

welcome to the good life

2009-05-23T15:49:00.000-04:00

"Butterflies” are an indescribable feeling, They are thrilling and exciting and there’s nothing else like them. I love the feeling.

The simplest things can cause them to appear…a simple text message, an email filled with loving words, a simple smile, a phone call early in the morning to wake you up, the brush of a hand on yours, the scent of their cologne on your shirt, even a photo…

It’s blissful.

some things i've learned...

2009-04-28T01:06:00.000-04:00

all IS FAIR in love and war

i will ALWAYS be a princess in my mommy's eyes

it takes more muscles to frown than to SMILE

a bubble bath can cure ANYTHING

DADDYS give THE BEST hugs

life is too short to hold grudges

yoga is peace

when life gives you lemons, make LEMONADE

having a sister is like having a BEST FRIEND you can't get rid of

"life's a dance you learn as you go"

vanilla ice cream is best with gummy bears

never loose sight of what you believe in

summertime is for flip-flops and sunglasses

music can change ANY bad mood

LOVE with ALL your HEART

cute underwear can make any girl feel GOOD

everything happens for a reason

tanning is LOVE

life without friendship is like the sky without sun

live so your glass is always "half-full"

pray daily

a good country love song can bring a smile to ANTONE'S face

life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. it's learning to DANCE in the rain.

camping = smores

nothing beats the feeling after a great workout!

'retail therapy' saves lives. TRUE STORY.

cuddling is INTOXICATING

kickboxing is butt kicking!!

sunflowers = happiness

a BLT is not the same without HOMEGROWN tomatoes!

i love how thunderstorms make me feel like a little girl

challenge yourself everyday. you'll feel more ACCOMPLISHED!

nothing beats a good book

springtime is for HAMMOCKS!

snowy weather is only fun for about a month. then it gets OLD!

SERVE OTHERS

don't put all your eggs in ONE basket

2009-04-23T01:06:00.000-04:00

Some days you gotta dance

Live it up when you get the chance

'Cause when the world doesn't make no sense

And you're feeling just a little to tense

Gotta loosen up those chains and dance

I've tackled that mountain....

2009-04-21T12:11:00.000-04:00

STORY TIME :) last May I had the chance to go to Moab and hike all over the place. Southern Utah is BEAUTIFUL! There's nothing like seeing the realness of the red dirt in person. It's crazy. There are some beautiful hikes that are yes, challenging, but have extremely rewarding views. Went with some friends and had great conversations the whole way up.
Come June I realize I really want to hike the Y. Just in my backyard in Provo, Utah. If you don't know this about me, I'm extremely spontaneous and act on pretty much all impulses. So it's 7am and I'm wide awake laying in bed when I decide to conquer the mountain. I figured that since I had hiked all over Moab, I could pretty much conquer the world. Boy was I wrong. I start the hike and the whole way I'm thinking to myself, how am I ever going to make it. I had no idea how hard this was going to be for me. Hiking the Y is all switchbacks, all uphill. No level ground or downhill at ALL! Well, I get to switchback number 8. Extremely exhausted and having no idea how much further to the top, I then turn around and call it good.... Not knowing how many switchbacks there were left. I jogged down the hill feeling bummed that I turned around but happy that I made it that far.
This morning I woke up with a little extra hop in my step. I decide I'm going to hike the Y and this time make it all the way. I wasn't going to let myself turn around again. This time I come fully prepared with my ipod fully charged, some water, and my inhaler (don't laugh!). I start up the mountain, knowing this time that it's all or nothing. I make a little stop to rest after about the 3rd switchback. As I'm sitting there I notice a girl coming down the mountain. She smiles and says, "Goodmorning!" And I quickly say, "I have a question.... How many switchbacks are there?" She responds, "There's 10 to the bottom of the Y and 12 to the top. But don't worry, the first few are the hardest and longest of them all. You can do it!" I say thank you then start on my way back up. I get thinking to myself... "ARE YOU SERIOUS? I MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO NUMBER 8 LAST TIME THEN TURNED AROUND AND WALKED ALL THE WAY BACK DOWN!!!"
I quickly learned turned this into a life lesson... Me, walking on a path with the end not in sight, so often turn around to go back down the road already traveled. The first time I tried this hike I had nothing. Not an i-pod, no water, no inhaler, no friends to say keep going, and no road map to say how much further I had. I was walking completely blind on a path with literally no end in sight.
Well, I knew how much longer I had to go and lets just say when I was getting to the 11th switchback, I saw my final destination right there in front of me and starting running to reach my end goal. I DID IT! I MADE IT! All I needed was a little map, support, and entertainment.
Now, going back to the first time I tried this hike. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I thought that it was going to be a peace of cake. I had no idea that hiking the Y was all switchbacks and all UPHILL! Personally, I prefer my hikes with it's ups and downs. But this morning, I put it into perspective... In these last days there can't be ups and downs. Where I'm strong, but then fall a little downhill just to pick myself back up in a week or however long. These are the final days where it is going to be an uphill hike! Striving always to become better. I know the end goal and my final destination. I only hope that towards the end of my hike of life that I will again run full speed only this time to my Heavenly Father to embrace Him with a hug. Just as I did the final steps of hiking the Y.

the map of the Y

Beginning the trail...

I dropped my phone as I was sitting on top the the Y. I laughed as it fell all the way the the base of the Y. Hitting every rock and flying into three pieces: the back, the battery, and the front. I got it all put back together and working. Makes for a good story and great laugh. The scratches give it character!!! :)

PEACE + LOVE

LOOK MOM, I'M LIKE 10 YRS OLD AGAIN :)

laying on top of the Y, feeling on top of the world!

GOODMORNING UTAH!!

one of my most FAVORITE things...

2009-04-21T08:50:00.000-04:00

As I am wake up this morning, naturallly- to the sunrise not an alarm clock I notice a few things. The clean fresh air of a beautiful spring morning. The birds happily chirping already off to a fabulous day. And me, bundled up in my bed. My face being the only thing that's sticking out of my cocooned body wrapped in blankets. Oooh how I LOVE sleeping with my window wide open. (i can do this since I'm on the 3rd floor.).. And waking up feeling and wondering if I really am camping or if it's just another beautiful spring morning in Utah.

... Of course two minutes later I'm kicking off the covers and rolling over to grab my box of tissues needing to blow my nose. Realizing I still have a fever and a dang sinus infection. :( Well, at least I was able to enjoy the peaceful serenity for a couple mins!

what a beautiful day in the neighborhood...

2009-04-19T18:04:00.001-04:00

i LOVE LOVE LOVE sundays. it's my favorite day of the whole week... wednesdays aren't too far behind though. This week i've finally become an avid gym goer. I think i went 6/7 days. GO ME!! I worked about 48 hours this week... GO ME!!... Going to LOVE that paycheck. The weather on the other hand... ughhhh. Snowed I swear 8 inches on Wednesday. Good thing it was wednesday and NOTHING can get me down that day. I was still smiling from ear to ear despite the cold that made me want to cry! Friday morning I wake up and check my bank account to see how broke I am... then BAMB. My tax return came a whole week early. Couldn't be happier. I promised my mom I wouldn't spend it on clothes, "I'M GOING TO PAY OFF ALL MY BILLS!" Which, I am in the process of doing, but still, I deserved a little of this big chunk of change. So, I bought myself a little spa package: facial, pedicure, and massage. Ooooh what a GLORIOUS day I had. And I don't think I did anything wrong at all by spending a little money on me... Someone has to spoil and take care of me :)
This next coming week the average is going to be about 75 degrees :) which means... CAMPING NEXT WEEKEND! I'm so excited. I just love love love spring/ summer/ fall. Hahaha. But really. So this should be a great week.... If only I can get rid of this bloody cold!!

Happy Easter...

2009-04-12T22:54:00.000-04:00

I love easter. And it's not because of the easter bunny, all the candy, and the new easter dress. Lets be honest, it's been about 6 years since i've gotten all of that! Today I had the pleasure of giving a talk in sacrament meeting. As soon as I finished, my bishop came up to me and said, "We need to get you on a mission!" And I couldn't agree more. I'm so excited about life. These next few months are going to be AH-MAZ-ING. The sun is starting to SHINE. The flowers are starting to bloom. I should be getting my amazing tax return back shortly :) My best friend Tracy who's been in France since August is coming back. I'm going home in May and my WHOLE FAMILY will be home! Photoshoot? Yes PLEASE! I just love life. I'm starting to really embrace the mystery life holds instead of hating it. It's better this way. Oh, and i LOVE country music. Went country dancing THREE times this week :) wahaha. I LOVE IT. Plus I'm now an avid yoga goer and kickboxer. I'm finally getting out of my anti-social winter phase and ready to meet some new friends and have a wonderful summer. It's going to be splendid.

i miss my BROOKIE

2009-04-04T23:58:00.000-04:00

So a couple weeks ago I went to go see my best friend Brooke who is serving a mission at temple square in Salt Lake City, Utah. I was so glad that I went because 1. it was totally last minute. i was afraid i wouldn't be able to find her in the dark. and 2. once i found her she told me she's leaving for Washington in two days!!!! Ahhhhh... sooo excited for her. So we decided that the next day I'd go visit her and she'd give me a full tour, her last temple square tour before Washington! Here's some pictures... enjoy :)

i can totally tract in these shoes!! :)

2009-03-10T23:40:00.000-04:00

"Many young women are serving missions and many are purposing to serve, not because they aren't married or have nothing else to do, but because they have the desire to serve and therefore are being called to the work. The reason there are so many going is because in this next generation Heavenly Father will be sending His priesthood army to the earth and He wants to send them to mothers who have been properly trained and taught in the gospel. And what better training can a young woman have than that of serving a mission."

-President Gordon B. Hinckley

:) exactly what i needed today!

ode to my MOMMA....

2009-03-08T01:19:00.000-04:00

yes, this picture is almost 4 years old, but it will probably always be my FAVORITE!

Growing up and moving out is such a funny thing. The last thing I ever thought was that my mom and I would end up best friends. She always told me that years down the road we'll get along just great living in our own houses and be best friends. I never believed her. We fought like sisters when i was growing up and I was such a brat. Okay, we both were. Ha, we're both tooo stubborn for our own good! We like things done how WE LIKE THEM DONE. We'd argue on the phone then hang up on eachother. I'd do things intentionally just to make her mad, and I'd have a smirk knowing it drove her NUTZ! Well now, SHE'S RIGHT... we're the best of friends. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't talk to her!... somedays not an hour. Haha. She's so supportive of everything I do and would give me the world on a silver platter if she could! I honestly feel like I have three sisters sometimes. She's the most fun-loving person I know. Spunky, loving, and freaking HOT! I have so good genes thanks to her! I miss her dearly ... One day I'll live in a house right down the street!

sleeping to DREAM

2009-03-04T21:03:00.000-04:00

it's been BEAUTIFUL weather minus the wind, but a storm is coming our way. right now i'd love to fly to some far away place, lets say FIGI, before it gets here. all i want to do is bury myself in sand, feel the warmth, and enjoy some peace and quiet, and a good book. aaaahhhh if only i could make this dream a reality.

Don't pull all your eggs in one basket!

2009-03-02T22:56:00.000-04:00

The single life is such a funny thing. It's still something that I completely don't understand but yet wouldn't change it for anything! Through the past years of me being single I have learned SOO-OOO much about myself and I truely feel like I'm myself again... but only not ALL the time. Only when I know I am comfortable being me... It's such a funny thing. I've come to realize that the relationships I have been in I've completely morphed into someone I don't even know. Even the friends I have... with one group I'm known as 'the goody goody,' yet with another i'm 'the rebel.' ... And lets not even get me started on dating. Dating is so weird and I absolutely HATE hate HaTe all the rules. ' Don't call, be the chase. No back to backs. Don't seem too interested. Okay, now you're playing too hard to get...' the list goes on and on. I just want to be ME... ALLYSON LEIGH BARNEY. The girl who truely cares about how your day is going, and not hinting that I want to 'hang out later.' The girl who feels most comfortable in sweats and a pony-tail. I'm the girl who just wants to have fun. I don't need you to take me to the most expensive restaraunt in town, I'd rather a picnic in the park. I'm at a time in my life where I've decided that I'M DONE BEING WHO EVERYONE ELSE WANTS ME TO BE. I want to be me. If it's not good enough for someone else, that's fine by me. (okay really, that's where i'm totally lying. i HATE when people don't like me.) but that's what I'm going to work on... I love my life and who I'm becoming. But, I am a people pleaser. I say what people want to hear. I do what people would think I'd do. Well, I'm going on ME vacation!

...if only i were closer to a beach. :)

my BeAuTiFuL life

2009-03-01T22:55:00.000-04:00

life is so funny. today has been a quote day. i love quotes. i love songs with good messages. it just makes me smile. so in no particular order... here's some favorites that made me smile today...

"And for each who observes [the commandments] there is the promise of a crown, a queenly crown for each daughter of God, a crown of righteousness and eternal truth." -Gordon B. Hinckley

Your Heavenly Father loves you unconditionally, it's time for you to love yourself unconditionally!

I gotta feeling that you have a heart like mine,
So let it show, let it shine.
If we have a chance to make one heart of two,
I just want to dance with you. - George Strait

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

"Falling in love doesn't begin with falling in love with others. it begins with falling in love with ourselves. loving ourselves is healthy and as God intended. learn to deeply and fully cherish your heart, your soul and your body and only then will you understand what it is to truly love another"

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may just never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it's all between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway."
-Mother Teresa

"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love."

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."
Helen Keller

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.
- George Washington Carver

Sisters, the time has come to unleash the power of righteous happiness that exists among women of God. When we live like disciples of Christ should live, when we aren’t just good but happy to be good, others will be drawn to us because we are “distinct and different—in happy ways,” as President Kimball

The Touch of the Master's Hand

2009-02-09T01:29:00.001-04:00

"Twas battered and scared, and the auctioneer
Thought it scarcely worth his while
To waste much time on the old violin,
But he held it up with a smile.
"What am I bidden, good folks," he cried,
"Who'll start bidding for me?
A dollar, a dollar - now who"ll make it two _
Two dollars, and who"ll make it three?

"Three dollars once, three dollars twice,
Going for three". . . but no!
From the room far back a gray-haired man
Came forward and picked up the bow;
Then wiping the dust from the old violin,
And tightening up the strings,
He played a melody,pure and sweet,
As sweet as an angel sings.

The music ceased and the auctioneer
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said: "What am I bidden for the old violin?"
And he held it up with the bow;
"A thousand dollars - and who'll make it two?
Two thousand - and who'll make it three?
Three thousand once, three thousand twice
And going - and gone," said he.

The people cheered, but some of them cried,
"We do not quite understand -
What changed its worth?" The man replied:
"The touch of the masters hand."
And many a man with life out of tune,
And battered and torn with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to a thoughtless crowd.
Much like the old violin.

A "mess of pottage," a glass of wine,
A game and he travels on,
He's going once, and going twice -
He's going - and almost gone!
But the MASTER comes, and the foolish crowd,
Never can quite understand,
The worth of a soul, and the change that's wrought
By the touch of the MASTER'S hand.

~Myra B. Welch

25 rAnDoM facts...

2009-02-08T18:08:00.000-04:00

here goes nothing...
1. i LOVE rainy days and thunderstorms
2. sunny drives with good music can cure any bad mood
3. i am a true kissing entrepreneur in all ways possible
4. i am a hopeless romantic. a lover, not a fighter
5. i have broken 11 bones! all in my arms and fingers plus my tailbone... which was BY FAR the worst
6. my birthday is the 4th of july. and yes, i still like to think some of the fireworks are for me!
7. my sister danielle and I truely thought there were 'kid onions' till we were 10!... thanks mom!!
8. i've been working since i was 15 and to this day, my favorite job was a checker at a grocery store... i love people
9. i've played the piano since i was 5... but shhhh no one knows!
10. my favorite color is purple. second favorite is yellow.
11. i never read a required high school reading book. haha. thank you smart older sister who did her work oh so diligently and made my life easy!
12. i'm like a little kid when it comes to fireworks! they're AMAZING and they make me smile :)13. when i was little my parents used to watch me run into walls as their entertainment (i was blind!)
14. im I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T.
15. snuggling is like medicine to me
16. i LOVE LOVE LOVE baseball games!
17. i wore an eyepatch over my lazy eye when i was 18months old. then wore bifocals till i was in 7th grade. now, just reading glasses :)
18. i live for long peaceful autumn walks
19. if i didn't have to work i'd be camping ALL SUMMER!
20. i chew ice... 24/7 thank you mom! ha
21. a man in a baseball hat and some scruff is the most attractive thing in the world!
22. i would rather my 'man' wear levis as opposed to $250 jeans! keep it simple.
23. i have the coolest scooter and am missing it during this cold winter
24. my family, beliefs, and aspirations are what keeps me going
25. i'm wanted in the state of nevada. (maybe i shouldn't be telling people this)

I want a PUPPY

2009-02-04T23:23:00.000-04:00

I'd name him Marley

I'd name her Coco

So i've decided I want a puppy... There's a Carrie Underwood song that's called 'The more boys I meet, the more I love my dog.' And I feel like it's totally true, minus the whole dog thing. Plus, I really really want one! :) So here's the lyrics...

This boy here wants to move too fast,

sees my future as havin a past.

Well I dont think so, I dont think so.

That boy there, well hes playin me fool,

he thinks hes funny, and he thinks hes cool.

Well I don't think so, I don't think so

Cheap dates, bad taste, another night gone to waste.

It's not like I'm not tryin', Cuz I'll give anyone a shot once.

And I.... I close my eyes,

and I kiss that frog,

each time findin, the more boys I meet,

the more I love my dog.

Heres this guy, thinks he bad to the bone.

Wants to pick me up, and take me home.

Well I dont think so, I dont think so

Cage fights, playstation, ex-games, raider nation.

Oversized pants with an ego to match.

It's not like I'm not tryin,Cuz I'll give anyone a shot once.

And I... I close my eyes,

and I kiss that frog,each time findin'.
the more boys I meet, the more I love my dog.

Why cant they be like the ones that mean everything to me?

Warm and loyal, Open and friendly.

It's not like im not tryin,Cuz I'll give anyone a shot once.

And I... I close my eyes,

and I kiss that frog,each time findin,

the more boys I meet, the more I love my dog.

I feel SOO BLESSED!

2009-02-03T15:23:00.000-04:00

And... this is one of my favorite sayings :) this goes out to all my girls!

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

also... MY GRANDPA HAS BEEN FOUND!!!!!! ... what a relief! thank you for all the prayers! I LOVE YOU ALL!

People come into your life for a reason...

2009-02-02T20:22:00.000-04:00

I miss this girl more than ANYTHING! Best friends since high school volleyball days. She's now studying abroad in France for a WHOLE YEAR! She's an absolute genius and most beautiful girl, inside and out!

Words CAN NOT express what this girl means to me. She's my best friend and I love her to death. Some say when your friends get married, it's never the same. But it's only gotten better for us! BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on!

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant .

Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Patience, a Heavenly Virtue

2009-02-02T19:52:00.000-04:00

Kaitlyn, after she got hit.

My dearest grandpa Barney who's missing.

So, I decided to start a blogging journal but couldn't really think of anything to post all month. The month of January has sure been a crazy one. It started off with Kaitlyn getting hit by a car when she was riding her bike and ended with my grandpa being missing! And yes, there's been some drama in between. Through all of this, I have been a rock! Until today that is. I have been able to see so many blessings from all of this. I had numerous offers to take me to the airport when I was flying home to see my sister and even more offers from the airport to the hospital. We've had friends bring us dinner so we could just hang out as a family and family members from hours away drive to spend time with us. We've had family members drive 10 hours of more in the search efforts for my grandpa and even friends show up in concern! It has just amazed me with the love that we've seen and felt. I've truely had an eternal perspective through all of this... i KNOW that everything is going to be okay!! I truely do, with all my heart! I think that might be the only thing that is keeping me going.
To start the month of February I'm faced with quite the challenge, where to look next for a job. There's been a little bit of drama and I feel that it's now time to move on. But to what???? I could try to find a dental internship where I get paid to learn dental hygeine. I could stay in retail, which i'll be honest, i'm starting to dread. No one wants to buy anything... totally understandable. I could use my esthetics license, which I LOVE doing, but will I be making the money I need to get by? I could move to salt lake or even california and get a fresh start. I could try to move up the restaurant management ladder... after working a month at a restaurant, I fell in love with the people and atmosphere. As some people know, i LOVE PEOPLE! i love talking, making new friends, and making peoples DAY! When I was working at a restaurant I was getting great tips!!... most nights 25-30%. But I only worked in a restaurant for a month. Will anyone really hire me into management? And now for the kicker.... or will I serve a mission? Lets count all of my girlfriends on missions... two in salt lake, new york, wyoming, two in Missouri, two in England, and a dear friend leaving for Argentina this week. I've been to most of these farewells and I leave with such mixed feelings. Do I serve a mission or do I 'keep on keeping on?' Life is so interesting to me. I have SO-OOOOOO many options but i'm not passionate about one thing more than another. I could be happy doing all of these things. TRUELY. But me being impatient wants to know for a fact what i'm supposed to do. I know Heavenly Father isn't going to come down and tell me, 'hey ally, go on a mission.' But freak, I'd love for that to happen. Oh and just incase you're wondering, marriage is not an option. Very VERY single. No one i'm even contemplating! :)

So here's an article that I found today that made me do some thinking... It's EXACTLY what I needed to hear!

Thomas S. Monson, “Patience, a Heavenly Virtue,” Ensign, Sep 2002, 2–7
Several years ago I met an old friend I had not seen for some time. He greeted me with the salutation, “How is the world treating you?” I don’t recall the specifics of my reply, but his provocative question caused me to reflect on my many blessings and my gratitude for life itself and the privilege and opportunity to serve.
At times the response to this same question brings an unanticipated answer. Some years ago I attended a stake conference in Texas. I was met at the airport by the stake president, and while we were driving to the stake center, I said, “President, how is everything going for you?”
He responded: “I wish you had asked me that question a week earlier, for this week has been rather eventful. On Friday I was terminated from my employment, this morning my wife came down with bronchitis, and this afternoon the family dog was struck and killed by a passing car. Other than these things, I guess everything is all right.”
Apply the Virtue of Patience
Life is full of difficulties, some minor and others of a more serious nature. There seems to be an unending supply of challenges for one and all. Our problem is that we often expect instantaneous solutions to such challenges, forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required.
The counsel heard in our youth is still applicable today and should be heeded. “Hold your horses,” “Keep your shirt on,” “Slow down,” “Don’t be in such a hurry,” “Follow the rules,” “Be careful” are more than trite expressions. They describe sincere counsel and speak the wisdom of experience.
The mindless and reckless speeding of a youth-filled car down a winding and hazardous canyon road can bring a sudden loss of control, the careening of the car with its precious cargo over the precipice, and the downward plunge that ofttimes brings permanent incapacity, perhaps premature death, and grieving hearts of loved ones. The glee-filled moment can turn in an instant to a lifetime of regret.
Oh, precious youth, please give life a chance. Apply the virtue of patience.
Patience in Adversity
In sickness, with its attendant pain, patience is required. If the only perfect man who ever lived—even Jesus of Nazareth—was called upon to endure great suffering, how can we, who are less than perfect, expect to be free of such challenges?
Who can count the vast throngs of the lonely, the aged, the helpless—those who feel abandoned by the caravan of life as it moves relentlessly onward and then disappears beyond the sight of those who ponder, who wonder, and who sometimes question as they are left alone with their thoughts. Patience can be a helpful companion during such stressful times.
Occasionally I visit nursing homes, where long-suffering is found. While attending Sunday services at one facility, I noticed a young girl who was to play her violin for the comfort of those assembled. She told me she was nervous and hoped she could do her best. As she played, one called out, “Oh, you are so pretty, and you play so beautifully.” The strains of the moving bow across the taut strings and the elegant movement of the young girl’s fingers seemed inspired by the impromptu comment. She played magnificently.
Afterward, I congratulated her and her gifted accompanist. They responded, “We came to cheer the frail, the sick, and the elderly. Our fears vanished as we played. We forgot our own cares and concerns. We may have cheered them, but they truly did inspire us.”
Sometimes the tables are reversed. A dear and cherished young friend, Wendy Bennion of Salt Lake City, was such an example. Almost seven years ago, she quietly departed mortality and returned “to that God who gave [her] life.” 1 She had struggled for over five long years in her battle with cancer. Ever cheerful, always reaching out to help others, never losing faith, she attracted others to her as a magnet attracts metal shavings. While ill and in pain, a friend of hers, feeling downcast with her own situation, visited Wendy. Nancy, Wendy’s mother, knowing Wendy was in extreme pain, felt that perhaps the friend had stayed too long. She asked Wendy, after the friend had left, why she had allowed her to stay so long when she herself was in so much pain. Wendy’s response: “What I was doing for my friend was a lot more important than the pain I was having. If I can help her, then the pain is worth it.”
The Savior’s Patience
Wendy’s attitude was reminiscent of Him who bore the sorrows of the world, who patiently suffered excruciating pain and disappointment, but who, with silent step of His sandaled feet, passed by a man who was blind from birth, restoring his sight. He approached the grieving widow of Nain and raised her son from the dead. He trudged up Calvary’s steep slope, carrying His own cruel cross, undistracted by the constant jeers and taunting that accompanied His every step. For He had an appointment with divine destiny. In a very real way He visits us, each one, with His teachings. He brings cheer and inspires goodness. He gave His precious life that the grave would be deprived of its victory, that death would lose its sting, that life eternal would be our gift.
Taken from the cross, buried in a borrowed tomb, this man of sorrows, acquainted with grief, arose on the morning of the third day. His Resurrection was discovered by Mary and the other Mary when they approached the tomb. The great stone blocking the entrance had been rolled away. Came the query of two angels who stood by in shining garments: “Why seek ye the living among the dead? He is not here, but is risen.” 2
Paul declared to the Hebrews, “Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” 3
Other Examples of Patience
Perhaps there has never occurred such a demonstration of patience as that exemplified by Job, who was described in the Holy Bible as being perfect and upright and one who feared God and eschewed evil. 4 He was blessed with great wealth and riches in abundance. Satan obtained leave from the Lord to try to tempt Job. How great was Job’s misery, how terrible his loss, how tortured his life. He was urged by his wife to curse God and die. His later reply bespoke his faith: “I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God.” 5 What faith, what courage, what trust. Job lost possessions—all of them. Job lost his health—all of it. Job honored the trust given him. Job personified patience.
Another who portrayed the virtue of patience was the Prophet Joseph Smith. After his supernal experience in the grove called Sacred, where the Father and the Son appeared to him, he was called upon to wait. At length, after Joseph suffered through over three years of derision for his beliefs, the angel Moroni appeared to him. And then more waiting and patience were required. Let us remember the counsel found in Isaiah: “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” 6
The Savior’s Invitation
Today in our hurried and hectic lives, we could well go back to an earlier time for the lesson taught us regarding crossing dangerous streets. “Stop, look, and listen” were the watchwords. Could we not apply them now? Stop from a reckless road to ruin. Look upward for heavenly help. Listen for His invitation: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” 7
He will teach us the truth of the beautiful verse:
Life is real! Life is earnest! And the grave is not its goal; Dust thou art, to dust returnest, Was not spoken of the soul. 8
We will learn that each of us is precious to our Elder Brother, even the Lord Jesus Christ. He truly loves us.
His life is the flawless example of one afflicted with sorrows and disappointments, who nonetheless provided the example of forgetting self and serving others. The remembered verse of childhood echoes afresh:
Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! The Bible tells me so! 9
And so does the Book of Mormon, so does the Doctrine and Covenants, and so does the Pearl of Great Price. Let the scriptures be your guide, and you will never find yourself traveling the road to nowhere.
Today, some are out of work, out of money, out of self-confidence. Hunger haunts their lives, and discouragement dogs their paths. But help is here—even food for the hungry, clothing for the naked, and shelter for the homeless.
Thousands of tons move outward from our Church storehouses weekly—even food, clothing, medical equipment and supplies to the far corners of the earth and to empty cupboards and needy people closer to home.
I am inspired by the devotion which prompts busy and talented dentists and doctors on a regular basis to leave their practices and donate their skills to those who need such help. They travel to faraway places to repair cleft palates, correct malformed bones, and restore crippled bodies—all for the love of God’s children. The afflicted who have patiently waited for corrective help are blessed by these “angels in disguise.”
Patience in Germany
In the words of a well-known song, I wish you could “come fly with me” to eastern Germany, where I have visited many times. Not long ago, as I traveled along the autobahns, I reflected on a time almost 35 years before when I saw on the same autobahns just trucks carrying armed soldiers and policemen. Barking dogs everywhere strained on their leashes, and informers walked the streets. Back then, the flame of freedom had flickered and burned low. A wall of shame sprang up, and a curtain of iron came down. Hope was all but snuffed out. Life, precious life, continued on in faith, nothing wavering. Patient waiting was required. An abiding trust in God marked the life of each Latter-day Saint.
When I made my initial visit beyond the wall, it was a time of fear on the part of our members as they struggled in the performance of their duties. I found the dullness of despair on the faces of many passersby but a bright and beautiful expression of love emanating from our members. In Görlitz the building in which we met was shell-pocked from the war, but the interior reflected the tender care of our leaders in bringing brightness and cleanliness to an otherwise shabby and grimy structure. The Church had survived both a world war and the cold war which followed. The singing of the Saints brightened every soul. They sang the old Sunday School favorite:
If the way be full of trial; Weary not! If it’s one of sore denial, Weary not! If it now be one of weeping, There will come a joyous greeting, When the harvest we are reaping—Weary not!
Do not weary by the way, Whatever be thy lot; There awaits a brighter day To all, to all who weary not! 10
I was touched by their sincerity. I was humbled by their poverty. They had so little. My heart filled with sorrow because they had no patriarch. They had no wards or stakes—just branches. They could not receive temple blessings—neither endowment nor sealing. No official visitor had come from Church headquarters in a long time. The members were forbidden to leave the country. Yet they trusted in the Lord with all their hearts, and they leaned not to their own understanding. In all their ways they acknowledged Him, and He directed their paths. 11 I stood at the pulpit, and with tear-filled eyes and a voice choked with emotion, I made a promise to the people: “If you will remain true and faithful to the commandments of God, every blessing any member of the Church enjoys in any other country will be yours.”
That night as I realized what I had promised, I dropped to my knees and prayed: “Heavenly Father, I’m on Thy errand; this is Thy Church. I have spoken words that came not from me, but from Thee and Thy Son. Wilt Thou, therefore, fulfill the promise in the lives of this noble people.” There coursed through my mind the words from the psalm, “Be still, and know that I am God.” 12 The heavenly virtue of patience was required.
Little by little the promise was fulfilled. First, patriarchs were ordained, then lesson manuals produced. Wards were formed and stakes created. Chapels and stake centers were begun, completed, and dedicated. Then, miracle of miracles, a holy temple of God was permitted, designed, constructed, and dedicated. Finally, after an absence of 50 years, approval was granted for full-time missionaries to enter the nation and for local youth to serve elsewhere in the world. Then, like the wall of Jericho, the Berlin Wall crumbled, and freedom, with its attendant responsibilities, returned.
All of the parts of the precious promise of almost 35 years earlier were fulfilled, save one. Tiny Görlitz, where the promise had been given, still had no chapel of its own. Now, even that dream became a reality. The building was approved and completed. Dedication day dawned. Sister Monson and I, along with Elder and Sister Dieter Uchtdorf, held a meeting of dedication in Görlitz. The same songs were sung as were rendered all those years earlier. The members knew the significance of the occasion, marking the total fulfillment of the promise. They wept as they sang. The song of the righteous was indeed a prayer unto the Lord and had been answered with a blessing upon their heads. 13
At the conclusion of the meeting we were reluctant to leave. As we did so, seen were the waving hands of all, heard were the words, “Auf Wiedersehen, auf Wiedersehen; God be with you till we meet again.”
Patience, that heavenly virtue, had brought to humble Saints its heaven-sent reward. The words of Rudyard Kipling’s “Recessional” seemed so fitting:
The tumult and the shouting dies; The captains and the kings depart. Still stands thine ancient sacrifice, vAn humble and a contrite heart. Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet, Lest we forget, lest we forget. 14